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The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Lena Dunham News/Business. Lena Dunham. (2013) Actor Lena Dunham. New. (CC)




San Francisco, CA, USA

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U.s. 3, Jon Stewart 2, Jon 2, Hannity 2, Brian Williams 2, Us 2, Russia 2, Lena Dunham 2, United States 1, Ohm 1, Man 1, Mao 1, Jefferson 1, Dana Perino 1, Charlie 1, Chavez 1, Martin Luther King 1, Liebowitz 1, Justin Bieber 1, Tess 1,
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  Comedy Central    The Daily Show With Jon Stewart    Lena Dunham  News/Business. Lena  
   Dunham.  (2013) Actor Lena Dunham. New. (CC)  

    January 17, 2013
    11:00 - 11:30pm PST  

>> it's fine, it's fine. >> well, that was weird. hey, everyone! after party back at my house, all right? everyone's invited. except them. let's go! [cheering] >> what... >> [coughing] >> that sucked. >> yeah, man, it was a perfect dance. they just didn't respond to it. >> i don't understand how that didn't blow people's minds, though. >> guys, guys, we did a great job, okay? listen, don't, don't get down on yourselves, all right? those people are stupid. they're idiots, they're savages. they just didn't get it. >> oh, come on. >> hey! hey, hey, hey! wow, great dance, assholes. you know what? just like you low-life shits, i didn't get invited to the after party either, but whatever. i'm just gonna have sex with somebody to feel better about myself. i'm gonna bang the next person who talks to me.
so who's it gonna be? >> hi-yah! how you doing, fellas? >> hey, schmitty, excuse me. >> hey, did i miss the festivities? >> excuse me... >> what are we doing here? what's going on? >> schmidt, no, no! >> hey, how are you? >> do you want to have sex with me? >> yes, i do. >> well, there you go. >> see you, guys. monster. >> oh! >> you all right? where do you want to go? you got a car? >> i don't know. >> we'll use mine, come on. >> schmitty. >> let's go back to the bar. >> yeah. >> let's go, charlie. >> yeah. >> schmitty just... >> swooped in and grabbed the most disgusting girl here. >> from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by comedy central
>> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight fresh off -- fresh off golden globe win for acting, producing, choreography, lena dunham is on the show. [cheers and applause] obviously the big news president obama's hotly anticipated announcement of his new steps to try to curb gun violence. ah, i didn't see it. i don't -- [ laughter ] i don't want -- i don't want to bring the room down. my mind has been elsewhere. my girlfriend, who totally exists -- [ laughter ] that's her. you don't know her. [ laughter ] is going through a tough time. she died. [ laughter ] and then, ah, and then, ah, also fell off a cliff of leukemia. [ laughter ]
so it's a tough day to be here for me. but i'm going to do it. her last tweet to me was, "this show must go ooooooon. -- [cheers and applause] -- wait, wait, #thump. all right. so i missed the whole press conference. what happened? >> lock and load. >> obama lays out his again control plan. >> the unprecedented assault on your second amendment rights. the second amendment is meant as a final firewall against tyranny. >> he is not a king or a czar. >> going after our guns. >> chipping away at our freedom. >> barack obama came in peace to rip our constitution to pieces. [ laughter ] >> jon: (bleep) what did he do? let's look at the president's opening statement. >> kneel before zod. >> jon: oh, that is bad.
[ laughter ] that is bad. what dictates did king bama decree. >> president obama asked congress yesterday to pass new laws ins -- instituting universal background checks and bans on assault weapons and high capacity magazines. >> jon: two things, one, those measures enjoy, i believe, majority support in the latest poll. and two, when tyrants want something they they generally don't ask their legislative bodies if that would be okay. they tend to proceed what is the word i'm looking for tie rannicly? what am i missing? >> a total of 23 executive signs signed directly impacting your right to keep and bear arms. >> there are certain things in the executive orders that are unamerican and fascist. >> does he not believe in coequal branches of government. >> jon: the executive orders that is what makes him a tyrant.
let's see what king obama is bypassing congress to do. executive ordered a launch of a national and safe responsible gun ownership campaign. ordered nomination of an atf director, a launch on a dialog on mental health and allug the centers of disease control to conduct research in the cause of gun violence and the ways to prevent it? really? tyranny? because when i listen to that that ain't (bleep) hitler. i guess hannity wants to protect american liberties and would stand up to any presidential overreach even if it was done in saving lives. if the president wanted to listen to your private conversation without a warrant. i can't imagine hannity talking about that in 2006. >> the president's power to the constitution in commander in chief he has to ensure the
safety of this country and the american people, doesn't he, especially during war. >> jon: likes like a tyrant is anyone sworn to protect the constitution you didn't vote for. former press secretary dana perino thought it was an untasty -- >> even if that means surcouple venting congress. signing these 23 executive orders is weak tea. >> jon: here tess in her previous job. >> the president will sign an executive order preserving two recreational fish, the striped bass and red drum. [cheers and applause] >> jon: no, no, there's a distinction here. there's a strong distinction here. it's okay to use executive orders but only if you are protecting these schools. [ laughter ] not only was obama guilty of executive overreach, yesterday
ohm balm yafs guilty of executive over dra tiesation. >> using children raising the emotional hackels. >> i find it despicable. let's see fit merits it out. >> jon: yes that was manipulate active (bleep). that was stagecraft no question. which i think you can argue about and the right has been trying trying to hard to maintain a rational dialog about gun fnches he does executive orders he is become like chavez. >> like hitler, like mao. >> it happened in italy, spain, iew and good yanch even using children. >> reminds me of saddam hussein when he used kids. >> jon: wow! it's like a game of $25,000 pyramid where the categories are dictators or unflattering
mustaches. [ laughter ] maybe we're not ready to have a specific conversation about what government can do about gun violence until we have a clear understanding on how we record our relationship to the government. if the united states wants to ban assault weapons the government should go first. and turn in their assault weapons that they engage -- >> jon: sit. [ laughter ] see now we're having a rationale logical conversation. so in your mind, you believe gun control is an arms treaty tbhoation our u.s. military as the founders intended. here is what concerns me about this: the whiff of self fulfilling prophecy. if you are girding yourself with a massive battle with a
uber-government stocking up on cans of mushroom soup fit doesn't happen you like like an (bleep) with a soup fetish. but no one is going toll tell you that -- going to tell you that to your face. but the only way your life would be meaningful would be in the tyranny comes true which puts you in the difficult position of having to argue tyranny hypotheticals. >> i am jewish. i think what would the german jews have done with a stockpile of weapons? they wouldn't have been murdered. >> jon: i wish -- you can't ever know how history would have been different unless you have a dedlrks lorean. i wish that armed jews in the ghetto could have stopped them but france couldn't and i'm pretty sure they had guns.
[cheers and applause] russia, russia had kind of a lot of guns and they couldn't stop hitler until you factored in the windchill. [ laughter ] it's an all of lot to put on an oppressed minority when it took the free world 5-6 of all all total wore -- war to stop that (bleep). let's stop arguing what if. >> i think martin luther king would agree with me if he were alive today. >> jon: yeah, how did he die again? but go on. [cheers and applause] go on. no, it's good. [cheers and applause] and remember monday is his birthday. go ahead. >> that if african-americans had been given the right to keep and bear arms from day one of country's founding perhaps slavery might not have been a
chapter in our history. >> jon: they say it's your birthday. ♪ yes, if only the africans brought to this country in chains had been allowed to have guns, ah -- although obviously given the climate of the country at that time would they have gotten whole guns or three-fifths of a gun? we will never know. [ laughter ] i just want to say, you are not going to get any push back in this country on your point about not wanting or liking tyranny. the question is a disagreement in just how close we are teetering on the edge of it and whether or not you are confusing tyranny with the unpleasant sensation of losing elections which we just had. if obama were a tyrant are these the numbers he would put up?
tyrants don't have to fight that (bleep) hard for ohio. and generally -- generally. [cheers and applause] ing for about utterly tanking your first debate, tyrants don't show up for those. the real debate for tyrants is how big you want to go with the sunglasses? i guess it's summed by the old homily first they came for the guns and i said nothing because
>> jon: welcome back. the president has taken bold action with his recent executive action but not every idea coming from the white house works out as plan. >> we're launching an online tool called we the people to allow the americans to directly petition the white house. >> jon: have you met us? it was the grandest experience in direct democracy since jefferson allow ever american to suggest policy after the carrier pigeon was discontinued for hygienic regions. that photo was not retouched. it was a noble effort. only 5,000 signatures needed to get an official government response which was a low ball. did they not how the internet
work? 5,000. the kony2012 petition got nine million hits. could you get a petition to leave kony alone for 5,000. >> one critic of gun laws is piers morgan. over 80, to have signed requests to deport him for engaging in a hostile attack against the constitution by targeting the second amendment. >> jon: okay. i'm a little torn on this one. [ laughter ] on the one hand it's a waste of the government's time but on the other hand -- [ laughter ] we do miss larry king every now and again. maybe there's an easier one. >> there are hundreds of thousands of americans in 20 states now that have signed petitions at white whitehousegoo
allow their state to peacefully secede from the union. >> jon: really torn on this one. [ laughter ] are there any that maybe i wouldn't be torn about on this web site? >> one petition called on the white house to begin construction of the death star. >> it received 40,000 signatures which means the administration had to comment and said, the administration does not support blowing up planets. [cheers and applause] >> jon: the administration r they on tape saying that because that sounds like (bleep). we've got drones and those are just like baby ones. i guarantee they are working on one but at least the white house had a sense of humor about it. >> starting today a petition sent to the website we the
people has to have 100,000 signatures in the span of 30 days to get an official response. >> jon: you know what is going on you keep voting to raise the signature ceiling and you know we're going to keep hitting it over and over again. why not address the systemic problem mainly people love signing up for (bleep) on the internet. 100,000 isn't going to slow us down. i have a petition right now today that i demand that the u.s. government address. i demand the u.s. government give everyone in america a fake twitter girlfriend. we can do this, people! 100,000 significant in tours. we'll get -- signatures. we'll get colbert on board. wdo. do.m[m[6mw@f@f@@÷@÷dqd÷d
[cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight she's the creator and star of had hbo's "girls" for which she received two golden globe awards. >> no. ♪ never thought this would have happened ♪ >> the tools behind them.
♪ now forever and ever snet >> he's not going to shoot himself at the end of this, is he? >> i haven't made it to the end yet. >> i've seen enough. >> you are so lucky this is what happens when you break up with a sociopath. i know i like murder in a sexy way but what if it's murderee in like a murder way? >> jon: please welcome lena dunham. thank you for being here. [cheers and applause] >> thank you for having me. >> jon: please. the show is terrific. you have accomplished so much in such a short time. how do you deal with everybody's anger about that? [ laughter ] you handle it beautifully. >> thank you. >> jon: you are very welcome. >> i don't know -- you deaf fitly do get the sense that there's some 58 year olds who wish you dead. >> jon: yes. it's the internet seems to be
the repoz -- repository of when a young person gets success before the internet decides they are old enough. >> it's also the place young people troll around for information about themselves. you get yourself in trouble. the line is i don't read anything but if i'm being honest i read a quarter of things. i read what i can find. the top three items in google nusms you are the first person i'm telling this to. >> jon: is that true? >> yes. i would like to say i don't read anything. you actually read half of it and then sit there trying to force out of the artistic process. >> jon: i know for myself i only read things that start with you know his real last name is
liebowitz because i know it's a reasonable the critique of what i've done. i'm 50 and i've been reduced to the fetal position under my desk making the mistake of clicking on a blog and saying i'm what? >> you look younger that -- than that. >> jon: really? you are the only person who believes that. >> i really do. >> jon: i'm wearing makeup and -- [ laughter ] >> it's really rough and i'm constantly. i'm unked bien with my twitter. i'm not highly media trained. at the golden globes we went to the endless press opportunity that comes with you won this great thing and work it like you are justin bieber for four hours. >> jon: you are supposed to -- >> i pose for a lot of pictures. i'm not trying to sound ungrateful. i would pays for a million more
pictures. >> jon: i posed just from watching it. i sat in my house. >> we were there and they were yelling turn to the left all of you touch the globe and one photographer said ugh, newbies. >> jon: i like the veteran that will touch the (bleep) globe. >> and someone screamed get media trained. so you are supposed to have a natural passionate reaction for receiving your golden globe but you are get media trained to tough it properly. >> jon: that's an exciting way -- hopefully you'll get an opportunity to get it right. by the fifth one they'll be like that's it. >> you are obsessed with getting an egot emmy, grammy, oscar and
tony, right? >> jon: globe could be the grammy. you have a globe. >> we could change the definition here. >> jon: we'll do it as wheel of fortune. >> take the grammys right out of there. >> jon: that would be fun. you are writing for all the characters i'm assuming allison williams is in it. her father is brian. you do write sex scenes. is there anything could you do make him more uncomfortable. i say this to yous a personal favor to me. >> well, like the internet i try keep brian williams out of my artistic process. >> jon: i think that's wise. >> but as a fan of his i want to have a brian williams cam of him watching the sex scenes. and we see it play in realtime. that's a dream of mine but i also -- >> jon: hold on. i say this not as a sage, not as
a wise person follow your dreams. i would very much like in on that. >> thank you. >> jon: this season in the can? >> already in the can. we premiered the first episode sunday and we'll come at you every week for nine weeks. and physical hbo knock on whatever beautiful material your desk is made of. >> jon: lucite. >> i hope they give us a new season because i want sexual positions we haven't yet covered. >> jon: i'm 50 don't tell me what they are. thank you. congratulations on everything. >> thank you. >> jon: girls is onunday sunday